Grand Design

 Let your love flow outward through the universe,
To its height, its depth, its broad extent,
A limitless love, without hatred or enmity.
Then as you stand or walk,
Sit or lie down,
As long as you are awake,
Strive for this with a one-pointed mind;
Your life will bring heaven to earth.
-Sutta Nipata

Suddenly, inexplicably, and more often than anyone ever suspects, life stuns us with loss. We lose a loved one, or our job. We lose our home, or our health. Without warning, hearts are broken, dreams are dashed, fortunes reversed, lives shattered. Gone are the assumptions that sustained us; the expectations that shaped us; the illusions that propped us up. We feel as if life is over—and we are right. Life as we knew it is over. In an instant. The ordinary instant.

Whether the loss is personal, precipitated by a phone call in the middle of the night, or collective, announced during a breakfast television bulletin, whatever was in our lives only a moment ago—serenity, sanity, security, safety, sameness—is ruthlessly snatched away or blown to smithereens. And we are left behind—bewildered, bereft, and incredulous at the horrific reality of what is now facing us. 

 

...Wherever you are in the world, or on your deeply personal and perplexing journey to Wholeness, may our unseen prayers go with you and yours. May you realize today and every day that follows this month that “Grace fills empty spaces,” as the French mystic Simone Weil reassures us, “but it can only enter where there is a void to receive it, and it is grace itself which makes this void.” (Gravity and Grace 1947)

Sending good thoughts and dearest love,

Sarah Ban Breathnach 

(From Simple Abundance online, November 2012)

    This month for the Simple Abundance, the theme is "Amazing Grace: Meeting Gratitude When it Hurts." This calls out to me, because of many things occurring over the past months. There's the normal cares of not doing well in college, though this is remedied with time and study, but then there are the ones that concern our whole lives. Sometimes things change, and it's not as though the rug has always been swept out from under our feet. We're still on the same road, be it to Heaven or Hell. We're either with God, or we're alone. There may be other people, but they do come and go. The going can be the strangest, sometimes the most unexpected, and it happens for innumerable reasons, such as death in regards to Hurricane Sandy, or other reasons. But it's a loss of sameness, when you look around and realize there are fewer people accompanying you on the road of life than there were an instant ago. 

    How long will the seperation last? Sometimes it is inevitable. But will it be for a few months, a year, for all life, for eternity? Who can say. But as people drift in and out of our lives, in the ordinary days, seconds, instants, there are changes. But in the end, we are on the same roads, or perhaps, one road or the other. But it's not who is with us who decides the road we are on; even God cannot choose for us. It is also us who decide what to think, how to respond. Whether or not to be grateful even when it hurts. 

    There is an ever lingering question in the human life of Peace. We cannot make peace, in the sense that we cannot make our lives be peaceful. There is always conflict, change and pain, for better or worse. Then where may Peace come from?

    Perhaps Peace is not a state of being in the world, since the world is not peaceful. Rather, it's how we respond to the world; having Peace comes from responding the best way to all the joys and sadness in life. We may be sad over what occurred, perhaps for a very long time. But being content and feeling peace with the matter will be much more difficult if we did not respond in the best, most correct, true manner. This applies to anything in life, absolutely anything that happens in the ordinary days and moments that bring life-changing joys and sorrow. Being at peace with regrets over how we acted...well, this is not impossible, but perhaps accepting them is only possible with God's help.

    Gratitude is the same. We may dwell on the bad or sorrowful, the changes and separations that leave us crying. It's fine, it's fine to cry and let yourself be sad. Repression is not accepting. If there is repression, there's denial, and we won't be able to be grateful for things within the sad. Rather, we may be sucked into them. 

    Perhaps the hardest is the uncertainty of change, especially the sorrowful change. This usually is connected to holding onto things, wondering "what if" and the like. These thoughts are essentially unproductive and do very little for the soul...though they're certainly natural, and will come, especially if things may change again. But, if that's outside of one's control, then it worsens the pain to dwell upon the "what if"s.

    Gratitude looks at the present. The past and the future are also looked at, but differently. The past must be accepted and we must be grateful for the good times we have experienced and the things we learned from the hard or unhappy times.  The future is simply something to be grateful for because it exists. We have a future, though we cannot place too much store in it. We may wake up tomorrow and be alone with no one else but God beside us on the road of life. 

      The trick of it all, really, is what I learned from ARIA. Not to think "Those times were so good", but rather, "Those times were good, too." To look back too much and to place too much stock in the past is harmful to the soul, insofar as it can blind us to all the good of the present moment. What might we miss if we spend all our time brooding and yearning for days gone by? 

    That being said, it's never easy when people leave our lives, no matter the reason.Even with the pain though, there's still the need for Gratitude. Which is why I'm writing this extended Gratitude Journal of mine. And that's what I want to express on here, to really realize as much as I can what it means to meet pain with Gratitude. 

    To every person who has ever been with me on the road of life, especially family and friends, I owe so much to you. I'm grateful for any time we spent together, and I know I am who I am at this moment because I knew you. That's irreplaceable and precious, and I wish it could be possible for you to understand just how much I am thankful for your past presence in my life, and just how much you mean to me. To all family and friends of the past, you'll always be a part of me, and I'll never forget you. I can only hope we'll meet again, but if we do not, there's often little I can do about this, and I accept that. May God bless you always and see you safe. 

    Now, for a picture; the fragrance was Cashmere Glow: 

  

     I did this while watching the new Merlin episode. I just love Angel Coulby's hair, and she's so pretty! Though, this wasn't really an attempt at a likeness. I just like the special-frizzy-hair type. There's a lot here I'm not excited about, but I don't dislike this. 

    Until the first chapter part!

 The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done,
we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change.
So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger,
but in wisdom, understanding and love.
Jennifer Edwards