Always Something to Be Found

    Recently I've been going through dramatic ups and downs, but it's always worth remembering that there are innumerable forms of beauty surrounding us.

    Last night was the Eucharistic Congress. Saw lots of old friends and acquaintances, parts of a talk on God and Art and then another by a Sister of Life, I believe is the title...and of course, there was Confession, Adoration, Mass and Communion.

     Confession at the Congress is, of course, awesome and holy but it's also kind of hilarious. The priest you get for your confessor is totally random, so each year I get a totally different type. This year, I got someone with a no-nonsense attitude who I think was connecting all the counsel and advice he gave to something concrete...that is, all the different booths and the books and material that they offered. Which is actually very different, so it was kind of funny, but still interesting and neat.

    Let's see....they had moved the Adoration Tent near the Hispanic track. On one hand, that's pretty cool, and it worked better given the numbers of people...but on the other hand, you had all the music from the Hispanic track going through your head while you were trying to pray and concentrate. I mean, the Hispanic track seems pretty cool...the part I always get to hear is like a non-stop concert. But the convention center is huge and things echo, so we might hear the music more loudly than they do. Still though, it really makes it all feel more connected. Kind of like how they sing Spanish songs and read a reading in Spanish during Mass. It's nice.

     Ohh! Then afterwards, my family and I went to this really super awesome Japanese Sushi bar place, where we got a really nice place to sit since we looked all fancy from being to the Congress. Ahh, we were really celebrating Autumn; the sushi and food was SO good. And I got this soup...I think it was Udon....I got it with seafood since I guessed it might be more authentic, but more than seafood it had tons and tons of veggies. It was REALLY good, and I never dreamed I could get so full of veg! It was a very different experience than other restaurants; variety does you good!

    So yeah, that night was totally awesome, and the Eucharistic Congress is just so neat, and sooo huge this year especially. There's a pretty awesome sense of community, even in such a huge crowd...even if it's not perfect since we're human, there's always the truth that we are all in One Church; more than ever we understand that we are one people, which is the truth. It's the understanding of the unity of mankind on the physical, social AND spiritual levels, and that's just rare and yet amazing.

    And so today...well, I slept in (for once on a Sunday) and that was really nice and I had an especially exciting dream where I had a fiance and was a monster in disguise (sorta?) and could sing like Jayne Wisener. It was a little sad when I woke up and realized (that part) wasn't real...but still.

    Today there was of course horseback-riding...the leaves are beginning to change and fall. Suitably! Soon we will be in an orange and gold and brown world instead of green (with smatterings of yellow and red...). The horses were a little funny today...well, more than usual. I did find out my Fancy horse is actually more bullied on that a fighting bully type. Which DOES make sense...and methinks that a lot of time she's picked on is because she acts like everyone is out to get her and wigs out too much. Silly thing. I'm starting to see her sweeter and laid back side more. I think we work pretty well together; she's trusting me more, but she still keeps giving me "the look" when I'm brushing her or anything on her right side. I don't know why. She's a strange one!

     And my hands still smell like horse. Not that I'm complaining.

     Oh, also before we left, I did another picture. Recently I've been feeling a lot like doing art, which is saying something. Still, after so long, it's quite refreshing.

    Hmm, I still have mixed feelings on this. Though I do like it overall.

     This is based off the scent "Carried Away" which was supposed to be, like, a romantic sort of idea, which makes sense considering it's very fruity and flowery and vanilla-y, but when I saw the title, I thought of something like...romantic, sorta, but also kind of strange, dark and dangerous, but still exciting and pretty and appealing. So this is what happened.

     I listened to this while painting this, and it influenced a lot:

     Here's to a good week gone by and a good week to come!

Like Another Time

     It seems I had gotten into a once-a-Sunday sort of schedule with this blog. But now I must break it, because last night was really extraordinary.

     Well, the Newman at my Uni had a game night last night. No one showed up with any games, and there were only a few of us. I had gotten up early for a class, so I was not very talkative, and mostly listened. It was quite pleasant, if just a little lonely, but I learned a lot of amazing things about the people around me. All people ARE amazing; one lady had been overseas to Dublin, and another told us about a documentary in which we learned that certain hallucinogenic drugs make you polite. Such lives people lead!

    Afterwards, the leader, another lady and I all went up to the Eucharistic Congress. It was about nine, and...I was really tired and quiet on the way up. In return for my silence, I learned that my leader has had quite an adventurous life in DC. He is one of those fellows who would be very difficult to intimidate. After you've been shot at, I guess verbal "violence" from punks doesn't seem like much of a big deal.

     We arrived at the Congress, and...well, I had never been to the city that late at night. It was about nine, and the nightlife was out. There really was neon everywhere! And so many people, and just...wow. It was like a hive of activity and things like I had only seen on television were all actually happening in normal, everyday lives like it was nothing! Boy, do I sound like a country girl. Still, it was really amazing, very different; just how everything can be so alive and full even after dark. Just so many people. I think that's what really gives a city it's life: the people and how they conduct themselves. They can bring life and light to a city, or can tear it down into something dead and dark. People make a city's character, make it almost it's own being. And I doubt any two cities are the same, as long as different people live in them, with different places to go and see and live.

     So we got in the Congress in the Convention Center and...well, it's very Catholic when almost the first person you see is the Bishop! But walking to and at the College Track, I saw a few friends from the Youth Group at my church whom I hadn't seen in a while. I'll probably see them again today; that's part of the fun of the Convention.

    And how appropriate that the Convention is on a Memorial Day, on the Equinox! All these Feast Days in September...surely they were born to fulfill/replace the pagan Autumn Festivals around this time. And today especially...well, the Convention really is as close to a festival as you can get. It's incredibly appropriate! And the meeting of the spiritual and the material, the fulfillment of all the pagan longing for the natural and real (which I especially feel very strongly) is so encompassed in the Catholic Church. I felt it last night, too...

     So, the nuns there....I think they were the Sisters for Life...they were talking about Pro-Life themes and also how they relate to college (mainly, chastity and contraception) and I really like how they compared the union of a man and woman (and the resulting child) to the Love in the Trinity between the Father and Son and the Incarnation of the Love, the Holy Spirit. I had heard of the idea before, but not put quite as well as they outlined it. It's a pretty awesome thing, how much we elevate sex to the divine! And they say we downgrade it/are anti-sex!

     After the talk was over, I spent a little while during the last words looking at the other students. I was standing and perpendicular with my lil' group to the mass of seated students. I had watched a few episodes of the 80s Sherlock Holmes earlier in the day, so I went to work observing. Some students were fidgeting, while others were stone still. All the ones on the front row were in the latter category. I noticed particularly that one guy had carpal tunnel, as he was stretching and flexing his wrists and fingers in a way that's therapeutic for that particular ailment. And then, I wonder why he had the ailment? Did he type a lot? For college? Did he work in journalism? Was it genetic or was he writing some lengthy and great essay that will have some great mission to accomplish in the lives of those who read it? The possibilities are endless!

     After it all ended, we were to process down to the church a few blocks away....while singing/chanting and holding CANDLES. I turned to the lady with me and commented that "this is SO not creepy" and she agreed and said we ought to have hoods. Ahh, Catholicism.

     But that aside, it was actually a really great experience, even if it got kinda hard to sing near the end there. It's like something that people would have done in Medieval cities, not these fancy, night-life modern cities. It was like we were something from a distant age, or something outside of time. It was definitely an other-worldly experience, but at the same time it was SO real, and the fact that it was just a little strange and creepy was like....it very much spoke to the part of me that wants the quasi-pagan. The Church is full of a type of wonderful strangeness and horror in the mystery of so much within in and without it that it acknowledges....It's unique. There's nothing else that encompasses so much, and I don't think there's any other Christian "denomination" that would keep me within and keep me from straying into paganism: at that natural, surreal, strange, horror, material, intense, dramatic, creepy and emotional....awesomeness. It's all fulfilled here.

     So in Adoration, it was very nice. The Church is old and quite lovely, and it was very quiet even with all the people there. Still, my mind was just full of music and in what I think was a good way. One of the speakers before we left for Adoration said that the Eucharist is really the moment where "Heaven and Earth" meet; it's like an "atomic bomb" as someone said...But the prospect of Heaven and Earth meeting attracts me so strongly and I think it's found so much in many other religions. And when we were in Adoration, this particular song rushed into my mind very clearly even though I was so tired, and it was just TOO perfect.

(The image it puts up looks a little wonky, but it really is a lovely video.)

     If singing is like praying twice, I wonder what that says for songs without lyrics?

    Well, anyways, it's a great relief that autumn is here. The weather is acting like it as well, even though it's a bit warm today. Still, I was walking down the road with the dog the other day and a breeze swept by....and the leaves started to fall around me. Perhaps the first time for many times this season. Being showered gently by the glorious, red, dying leaves who in their death create a glorious sight for everyone is like being showered with blessings undeserved. Just like being warmed by the sun. 

     Now, the picture! In honor of one the best things about autumn....

This one is done after the scent "Warm Apple Cider." Ahhh, I can't wait. Though I think wassail is just a little better! 

Happy Mabon and First of Autumn!

The Dusty Roads

     A day ago, I went to work very early. It had been a while since I had been up so early; I got to see the sunset in all of it's stages. What was most remarkable was probably what I missed: the moments when the sky turns from golden pink to pale blue and the clouds turn from crimson to white. One moment the sky looks as though it's been dyed by the last remnants of the night waging a small battle with the coming day and dawn and the sun. The next moment it is day, and the night has been forgotten until it comes again to make it's rounds.

    Still, seeing the sun in its rising, golden glory, enough to harm my eyes for a while...it was like a molten gold medallion, burning on the canvas of the sky, giving life to the arc of blue, scarlet and violet that surrounds us. A speck of the real, the tangible, the texture amongst the image, the flat and smoothness of the sky and the distant stars. Something to burn us, nurture us, guide us....

     Recently, I finished reading "The Moonstone." I was impressed, for many different reasons. I'm excited that we'll be able to start reading the next story, a Sherlock Holmes one, but...reading one of the first big mystery novels was amazing, because I could really see how it established so much we take for granted about the mystery genre. Kinda like how Sherlock Holmes in general established so much of what we take for granted in British story-telling media in general? Even the Doctor would undoubtedly be very different, or maybe not even exist, if it weren't for Holmes.

     I do not know if I will ever write mystery. But there's no doubting it's appeal. It's the search for truth, and that calls to something deep within all humans, and within me. I crave it, though it's easy to fear it...

     Just a couple days ago, I went to see a relic of the true Cross.
     It was very strange. I had a good, great conversation with (or at?) the Lord....it was almost painfully private, I wished no one else was there, though I think this is normal. Still, it's another way of understanding the Word made Flesh. It's just....well, something. It's hard to describe it, actually. Just realizing the gravity of it all, of having such a thing SO close to you, seeing it....
     It blows the mind if you think about it too much. That's what I love about Catholicism, Christianity, relics, everything. It's awesome and amazing, sad and sometimes so awesome it can feel like something terrible, though in a good way, and just it calls me to truly live how I need to live, not just how I want to live.

     Recently, I've been reading the Aria manga, a chapter a day, usually before I start the day. It's done wonders for my mood, though I realized with some amusement that if I'm not careful, that story could become for me what Robinson Crusoe is for Betteredge in "The Moonstone"! And that's just funny and a little sad in so many different ways. What a character!

    This week was very inactive socially. I had a lot to do and a lot due, and...well, I'm not that pleased about it. But I'm still grateful I could do everything pretty much as well as I'd like, and it was a nice break. And I'll be looking forward to this week. The weeks, the weeks go by so quickly now!

     Even without social interaction, I've had too much on my mind, too much to do. I've been inspired to write a new story that I find absolutely fascinating as I'm diving into it. I'm even heartily pleased with the more minor characters, and frankly, I think I will love to write this story. All the ideas, all the energy and inspiration are as taxing as going to a thousand social events in a week! So while this week has, on the surface, seemed very quiet, it's been something of a whirlwind! I've even been scribbling away in my notebooks, drawing and writing on the characters. I just can't stop, and I love it, but it takes more time and energy than one would think!  The days have flown!

     Already, we are back at another Sunday...another day of horseback riding. We almost didn't go, since it looked like it might rain, but thankfully it didn't, and I'm very happy we went. My horse, Fancy, behaved so much better today, though she still gave me "the look" which this time might have been a "just hurry up and take me back to my pasture already" look. But anyways, I've gotta say...there's something about riding a horse, sitting up straight, riding in a canter, riding in a good trot...you become part of something greater, something alien, you're experiencing something that humanity alone could not experience. This is perhaps part of why horses are so amazing, they are a gateway to a part of your nature that you didn't even realize or think about before! I'll always love it, I think.

     No fancy pretty picture this time....I've been thinking of doing some comics, just poking fun at my life and enjoying it, and I decided to do something small about horseback riding. I apologize for sloppiness and all that, but I wasn't trying awfully hard, I was just having fun with the idea: presenting me and Fancy:

       Why would I be holding the rope like that if I was on her left side? Well, you do strange things with the rope sometimes when you're trying to open a gate and not let other horses past nor let your horse pass you....yes, that's my story.

     I exaggerate...SOME on this. First, Fancy really is one of the fittest horses I've ever seen. She's got the round belly, but she's tight, and her muscles are big and very firm: she is not fat or anything.
And I think she gets into a lot of fights: today she had a pretty fresh cut or two, as well as a mark near her neck that looked like another horse had bit her. She's got quite a 'tude with a lot of horses, especially male horses, and she's actually a lot bigger and taller than I present her (I am SHORT) so she's got some stuff to throw around. I wouldn't put it past her to instigate some horsey-battles.

    Okay, when I first heard that she had a face that was all white, I thought it would be pretty. Wrong. She's got an ugly face: it's wide, especially between the eyes, and her jaw especially is just...well, it's not pretty. She's not REALLY ugly, I exaggerate, but she is not what I'd call a cute or very pretty horse, okay? Plus, her left eye gets sunburnt and puffy around it with stuff around it too, and it just makes her look worse.

     Overall, she crushes the dreams of pretty, beautiful, delicate little horses.
     Though ironically, my sister was riding a substitute horse today that was nearly a perfect, pretty, little, slim Arabian with a really pretty, fine small head and slim neck and build. Hmmm.

     But I really like Fancy now, I think. She's got SUCH  a 'tude, and it's so complicated, annoying and hilarious that she could totally be a cat!

    The leaves have begun to change, naturally, gradually, wonderfully. I pray they keep going well!

The Wood and the Horse

   Today was a fantastic Sunday!

   The weather has taken a turn for the cooler. All the humidity that brought all the lovely rain this week has nearly vanished, and in it's place is a cool breeze, with cool days and nights. It's great weather to do anything outside....it was as if nature herself was giving out the invitation. And so it was perfect for horseback riding!

    It's been....years, years since I last rode a horse. I'd forgotten a great deal, and the horse, Fancy, who I rode totally recognized it and took advantage of it when she could. So she didn't trust me very much. But I managed to get my bearings about me and get back in the game more or less, so by the end we were getting along better and she was listening to me more. Though she still gave me a hard time when I was getting the dirt out of her hooves...she knew it was the first time I've done it in too long and that I didn't really know what I was doing. But I still prevailed!

    If anyone ever says that horses do not have personalities, they don't know the first thing about horses! They're all so vastly different. This horse Fancy....well, firstly she was an Arabian. So she wasn't quite as laid-back as I'd like; she was warm-blooded, you know. That basically means they have more spirit in them. She was interesting....see, these horses had not been ridden all summer. In a sense, they're being reintroduced to being ridden on the trails in the woods and around the walking trails to the old milkbarn and pastures. Ahhh, the scenery is really fantastic! There's a small lake, then pastures with burros and sheep and I think other horses....and it's all so peaceful around the horse barn itself. Just horses everywhere, and ponies and even a really young colt that I got to pet some. Gosh his fur was SO soft!

    But back to this horse....she was a very interesting character. She was NOT happy to be leaving her pasture, but she was not really stubborn (and I think she was more difficult with me since I wasn't handling her properly at first), yet at the same time she walks SOOOO slowly, but hates falling behind the rest of the herd (my sister and mother's horses) so there was a lot of trotting to catch up. A LOT of it. And then she didn't like anyone behind her...and she kind of nervous (since, again, she did not trust me) so she kept looking around too much which made her more clumsy than she actually is...oh, horses are really smart, but they can be incredibly stupid sometimes! She's already clumsy, and yet she wants to trot and hurry up a super rocky and dangerous uphill ravine. Silly thing! Let's see....well, she's something alright. She's also the first horse I've ever seen that has a blue eye! Yep, only one is blue; the other is brown. Poor thing had some sunburn around the blue eye, since it was surrounded by white fur and all...and the flies were attacking her horribly when we got back and she even bled some (though I think some of it might have been my fault, using the hard brushes on that area to try to get the flies off) but overall, she was one of the most high-maintenance horses I've ever ridden!

     But at the same time, I think I like her. It'll definitely be interesting getting to know her over the month! And even though we trotted a lot...really, she has a very smooth gait. I think that's sort of the norm for Arabians, perhaps? Well, either way, we had a pretty grand time that way. Lovely canter she's got! Heehee, nothing makes you grin all silly like a good canter (even when you're like me and worrying that your clumsy horse will stumble!)

    Really though, horses are amazing. And really, such characters! When I was trying and trying to get her to lift her left hoof so I could use the pick on it....well, I wasn't positioned right, so I couldn't grab it properly, but I didn't know how else to do it. So I kept on trying...and I looked up at her to try to get her to shift her foot over...and she was giving me a look that clearly showed that she knew I had NO idea what I was doing. Really, she just turned her head over and nailed me, her mouth full with grass, just staring at me incredulously. It...was very humbling....

    Still, this is going to be a good month with her, I think! She's not the type to bolt, and although she blows out and does NOT like getting her girth tightened (she might try to nip me a little, might also be an Arabian thing), she's not incredibly difficult with that either. It was a little funny, I definitely understood that she was IMPATIENT as I was getting the tack on and off her. It was kind of funny, really!

    Now I'm pretty tired from it all. Somehow it's a very comfortable type of tiredness, being exhausted from playing and doing something you really enjoy doing. It's more refreshing and puts you more at ease than not being tired at all. It's sort of like a strange reward, and your body and mind are telling you that you've spent your day well. It's affirming. And it makes me hope that I can always appreciate this sensation. Just like the good, hay smell of horses. So unique and warm. Being around animals....it really makes you feel so close to nature in a good and not silly sort of way. Especially animals that weigh a thousand times what you weigh! Ahh, when I came home, my dog looked SO small all of a sudden...and oh, the wind felt amazing on the way home. Not quite speaking yet of autumn and the cold....but whispering a warning, perhaps.

     "Wherever you live, the last warm sunlit hours must be savored like old wine, this sensuous gilded light treasured for the precious gift that it is, garnered into our hearts to illumine the darkness that lies ahead,' one of my favorite English authors, Phyllis Nicolson reminds me in Country Bouquet "Stillness, symbol of completed growth, creeps into the shortening days."" -Simple Abundance, Main Page, September

     Yes! Simple Abundance updated to September! This day could hardly get any better. 

     Something it doesn't mention is just all the play that is to be had in autumn. Certainly, autumn is a time for the hearth...for things of the home. For turning over a new leaf in the home and in ourselves...but it's also a time for the outdoors, just as much as summer. Autumn has a cool, crisp bliss that cries out to be savored, as it should be...it's all the unique coldness of a perfectly juicy apple mixed with going out to the pumpkin patch to find pumpkins for pumpkin bread and hay rides and hay and horses pulling the hay rides and....well, that's all later on. September is the month, perhaps, for really deciding how autumn will be used. Will we just see it as a drudgery of chilly weather, less sunlight, leaves to rake and holidays to slave away for? Or will we see it as a golden opportunity to partake in those brisk outdoor recreations that summer's heat took away from us, to really enjoy all the harvest has to offer (including all those harvest festivals!) and any holidays to use as a time to make new memories and find new recipes and traditions, and relive the old ones gratefully? Autumn is an extraordinary, fleeting time of year, just like the bright leaves that come and go...what will be made of it this year? 

   Well, I don't know how much I'll manage, but I'm sure I want to do more than just studying! 

    And then there's my big fan fiction. Eek! That starts in less than two months! Must keep focus! 

     To end, here's another picture:

    The scent this is based off of is called "Dreamy Vanilla Woods." That sounds really lovely....what a great and uniquely smelling woods that would be! You wonder if our good dreams will all come true in heaven?

 

September is the time to begin again.
In the country, when I could smell the wood smoke
in the forest, and the curtains could be drawn
when the tea came in, on the first autumn
evening, I always felt that
my season of good luck had come.
--Eleanor Perenyi
More Was Lost (1946)

Black night and rain

    

The smaller the moment noticed, appreciated and savored, the deeper its connection to your sense of peace and plenty…

 --Sarah Ban Breathnach

    Well, I wasn't thinking I would write this one! But after getting home last night unexpectedly early and drenched to the bone and both thrilled, freezing, and filled with bittersweet feels of stress and melancholy, I really knew I had to remember this.

    Last night, I wanted to go to this Bible Study club...I've wanted to go for a couple weeks now, and last week there was a storm, and I did not go, even though there was indeed a meeting. So this week, the rain started to come down steadily, but the thunder and lightning had largely passed by the time the meeting came around. So I drove over and parked a few buildings away from where the meeting was because I didn't think I was allowed to park closer in the Faculty parking spaces right in front of where we were meeting...so, it was still raining. Hard. You could say it was pouring, and I had counted on the gigantic oak and pin-oak trees shielding me from the rain...nope! The raindrops were even larger and harder underneath them. And above that, nearly the whole campus was in a flood of puddles. And my shoes weren't waterproof. So I put my shoes in my (poor, now rather worn but still loved) purse and pulled up my vest around my neck and set off.

    Frankly, it was FUN in a scary kind of way that I really liked. I was walking barefoot in the dark, sometimes black puddles (which were mostly clear, since the rain was so hard there was little debris) like I was in a waterpark. It was like something secret, dark, and supposedly forbidden, except it was really open to everyone...like a little-known garden. Still, I was getting soaked, so I tried to get inside. I did get inside one of the oldest, largest buildings...it was unlocked and some lights were on, but no one was there. As I walked through it and down to the basement, trying to find the exit, it was the special kind of creepy that made you feel like you could meet a fairy at any moment. Or maybe a ghost. But it was too much fun for a ghost, and besides, I can see unusual, large fairies roaming some of those old buildings at night. The old portraits of the deceased professors and founders on the wall never looked so creepy! But there really wasn't a soul there, and it was just a very unique kind of fun, going through that old, dark place.

    So then I got outside, under a walkway...but the next building was a dorm! So I couldn't go through, and had to walk around it in the rain to the building I needed to get to. This is where it was really nice. The puddles were really deep, and the ground was so smooth and the water was clear. I was already so wet, I just went splashing the water around as I went. If it had been a true flood, I wouldn't have minded. It was amazing! It was like the whole place was transformed into a world of black wetness and water, with only a few street lights guiding my way, reflecting on the water puddles feebly, being splashed about, tussling with the raindrops. Without the manmade light, it would have been truly dark. Perhaps the reason why people these days flirt with the idea of darkness so uniquely and somewhat carelessly is because we don't really know what true darkness is?

    And so I arrived at my destination! Soaking wet, and despite feeling pretty thrilled, I thought I was gonna be pretty upset if there wasn't a meeting tonight...I got to the room and there was another girl there. We had a really nice chat about art and some art history until she got in contact with (the other?) group leader and found out the club had been canceled. I don't remember if I laughed or not at this...but it was definitely really ironic.

    So back outside we went; she had parked a lot closer than I, so I went along on my own, straight down the sidewalk. I wasn't too keen on going back into the empty building on my way...so I just kept along the road. There was more debris there from the trees and all, and even though the rain was letting up I felt a little concerned. So, as I had done two years ago when I first went to this Uni on an orientation, I talked to my guardian angel. I named him (or her?) Marco. I think it can apply no matter which type of sex the angel's soul is (or are they like that? I know we are, but what are they? Well, again, it can work no matter what.) I suppose it might be kind of silly to give a name....but eh, it's a nickname. Might as well, you know?

    And he/she must have come through for me, since the girl I met at the not-happening club drove down and drove me half of the way to my van. That was really nice of her....though I think I kind of soaked the seat that I was on in her car. So then she dropped me off, and...well, I had really decided to join the club I think! Yeah, I really think I'll be going back next week; it seems really nice from what little we talked about. Plus they're studying Revelation....that'll be very funny if we wind up talking about the Rapture theory! But yes, it seems nice.

    Anyways, dropped off and then...I could NOT find my keys in my purse. I was freaking out after a little and went back to that empty building, but didn't go inside as I tried to look...finally I went back in, dumping all that was in my purse on this nice-looking, velvet cushioned bench. Looking back, I just find this very funny...I was there, alone, in this grand, mysterious, creepy old place, and here I was getting it wet with all the great assortment of junk and stuffs in my purse.
    So then after only a couple small freak-outs,  I found my keys, yay! And then went back out and drove home. It all only took about a half-hour...no, less than. It was really fun, strange, and exciting. And in a weird way, it was spookier than those haunted amusement park places. Though, I guess it was kind of silly for me to worry about someone popping up and jumping me or something...I was the only soul out there in that weather! No thief or anything would have bothered. They wouldn't think there'd be anyone as crazy as me! 

   Oh, when I got back, my Dad asked why I didn't use the umbrella in the back of the van....the worst thing is that I suspected we had one, but I didn't look! So, yes, if anyone ever asks why I got so soaking wet and aged my poor purse with water damage....the only answer is because I'm too scatterbrained to live! Or at least, to live normally. (Plus, again, I was relying on the trees to shield me. Again, I was sooo wrong.)

    But yeah, it was pretty fun! Mmm, not perfect, but nothing ever is. It was unique. Especially the weird creepiness of the old building....I almost wish I had met a fairy or something. I don't know. It really could have happened, or at least really felt that way. And really, the type of dark, lonely and mysterious bitter-sweetness that pervaded over the whole time was so unique. Maybe bitter-sweet joys are sometimes more eye-opening and fulfilling than happiness that is less tinged with melancholy and sad and lonely complexities?

    And although I wasn't originally planning to, I just had to do another picture, based on last night.

    This one is also based on the scent "Night Blooming Jasmine." It sounds absolutely scrumptious (in a non-food sort of way) to me.

Italian Flowers

   Buongiorno! Come stai?

    I'm studying Italian this year...and I think my blood is boiling about it, in the best possible way! I think it's a sort of feeling of homeland. I feel this way when I think of Pittsburgh and Pennsylvania...especially Pittsburgh. It becomes a sort of ferocious blood boiling if anyone back-talks my city...I feel like I could throw a mountain! But I also feel like I could throw a mountain in a good way when I think of it; it's also how I feel as I study Italian.

    I have very little experience with the language before this...I studied Latin and then Japanese. The strangest thing is that I can find words in Italian that correlate to both languages! Latin, yes, obviously that's gonna happen...but Japanese, yes, it does really happen like, um...well, there's that whole "the word that means the English word is the same as the English word except a different pronunciation or just slightly different spelling" and then there's other things, like "hai" and...well, "banana"...okay, so not THAT much is the same.

   But it makes me really excited, because these three languages seem very connected in other ways. Mainly, almost all Latin and Japanese pronunciation rules are EXACTLY THE SAME. Italian sorta does it's own thing thing, but the Latin background gives me a good boost, and knowing the Japanese pronunciation lets me apply it to the Latin words and...yes, in a round-about way, it works perfectly!

    I guess I'm just very grateful for all of these connections, and just lucky, and thrilled that Italian feels like MY language. Like, it's what I was meant to learn...again, that feeling of homeland. I think we all have it, for wherever our origins lie...more than ever, I really want to go to Italy and see the town and the hill where my family is from, and eat the food they would have eaten, and, yes, I'd love to go to Venice for a while, too. I know it smells funny and everything, but I don't care! It's a gorgeous and mysterious city, sort of like an anomaly of cities...it's a unique gem of the world.

    I think being surrounded by things that are beautiful, both in the transcendental sense and in the universal aesthetic sense, just lifts up the heart and mind. You feel like trying to find something greater, trying to be better...I think that's why churches have always been so beautiful. We should be so thankful for them. It's sad that so many people direct their hate and bitterness towards it all throughout history, but the fact that we keep going and restoring and striving...it's hopeful and sad and wonderful.

    There is a purple butterfly bush right outside my window. I've gotten used to seeing it there, and so I don't notice it as much as I should. Or rather, I take it for granted. This is just a tragedy. I think it happens no matter where you go, no matter what you're surrounded by...maybe I'm just crazy to be a person who stares at the sunsets and moon. But it's always good to notice the beauty around you, I think. Taking it for granted, then losing it....it's sad. It's sad in such an every-day way, that we don't think about it much, which just makes it sadder.

    Oh, I read Palace of Stone by Shannon Hale in a few hours last night. I really liked it....though, I think I liked the first book better. And yet! I think I will appreciate and grow to love Palace of Stone more over time as I set out on my own and really go out into the world by myself more. I must keep that in mind, and do my best to appreciate the sentiments and ideas in the book...there is a lot that is beautiful and true, and gives it its own magic. I just have to make more effort to appreciate it...so I pray I shall!

    Ah...I just went to the Simple Abundance website looking for the September update. It's not there, but I looked into an excerpt of one of the books, The Journal of Well-Spent Moments. An idea that stood out to me was this:

"Listen to your favorite music, especially if you haven’t listened to it for a while. Don’t multitask,
don’t read, just listen. Ask yourself why this music speaks to you on such a deep level.
Does it make you dream, or cry, or feel energized?"

    I think it's rare that one actually thinks about music...Fulton Sheen said that the music we love is the music that's already in our hearts. Our music says so much about us, and how often do we really ponder it! What does it tell us? What do we really feel about it? Where does it tell us we're going in life? How will we live listening to the messages this music gives us?

    Well, that brings me to my last part in this entry, my original reason for making it...I have no picture this time, but I want to share this song instead. And the picture....ahh, the beautiful, innocent surrealism and natural loveliness and hint of summer childhood...it tells me the story and message of this song.

     Buona giornata!

The poetry in dawn

    This week has been slow, fast and fantastic and strange all at once. School has a fascinating way of reestablishing the flow of time as something very different than how it goes during summer vacation. This week felt so slow, especially Wednesdays with the Newman Club (which is looking REALLY fun...there are a lot of interesting people there and the discussion is great), but at the same time, it feels like last Sunday was only yesterday! Time is a very interesting time, perhaps primarily because of how relative it feels? Yet at the same time, it's also very interesting when most everyone seems to be on the same wavelength of time. You wonder why and how this is, and if there's some meaning to it? I think there's meaning to everything, we just have a hard time understanding it.

    The weather...has been very humid! I wonder if it's the hurricane that came through? Still though, we've been getting some really nice rain showers that aren't thunderstorms. I really like thunderclouds and all that, but I prefer just plain rain. Though it's always a little fun when the power goes out, yet still, rain is good just by itself. It's more relaxing. There's perhaps nothing more soothing than the sound of falling rain....or maybe the sound of ocean waves. Really, water is amazing like that, so soothing and strong at the same time. I guess maybe it's for these reasons people often associate it with women and motherhood? I think it makes sense on a lot of different levels. 

   

                                                                     School,
                                                                     Effort, and
                                                                     Play.
                                                                     Trying your best
                                                                     Each hour of the day,
                                                                     Making new friends,
                                                                     Being good as you can
                                                                     Exciting discoveries,
                                                                     Reading books with a friend."
                                                               -  Boni Fulgham  

     

     September is a unique month. It's not like October, where autumn is in full swing....September is more quiet.  There's the autumn equinox, or Mabon, but where I live autumn generally does come in like a lamb. And it's also kind of neat, because this month seems to have a lot of different days dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary. Which I think is very interesting! Autumn always seemed very feminine to me as a season. All the seasons in general seem feminine, perhaps because the earth and material creation (or creation in general?) is this way, but autumn stands out. Perhaps it's because I grew up with these days surrounding Mabon that have to do with true glorification of motherhood and femininity? And fertility, really. That's one sad thing I think we're losing....respect and admiration for fertility, which also means a loss of love and respect for mothers and babies. I think the respect and feeling of sacredness in regards to fertility is very magical in many ways. The miracle of new life, no matter when where or how, is always amazing and just astonishing.

  

     This morning, we drove to an early Mass, and the sky was very clear for the first time in a while. We could see a really gorgeous sunrise, or at the least the sunrise colors in the sky and the lightness. And the morning moon. I adore morning moons for many different reasons. I love the moon, I always have. It's fascinating how we can look at it directly, even as it reflects the sunlight, which would burn our eyes out if we tried to stare at it too! The moon is like a mirror, and it's mirroring one of the most wonderful things there is. Just like the sun that shines down indiscriminately on all people, all saints and sinners, and gives life and the seasons, the moon gives us light. We really lose a sense of just how dark the night is, surrounded as we are by city lights and artificial lights. I think it's easy to lose a grasp of just how much we need the sun and the moon, and really just how miraculous it are that they are so perfect for us, and just how beautiful they are. It's almost beyond belief! 

    Recently I've been re-reading, for the third time, Princess Academy by Shannon Hale. The first time I read the book, I thought that I just liked it, but did not love it....but now I'm pretty much in love with it. There's too much to it, in a very good way, and plus, I just had to reread it, because I recently got the sequel, Palace of Stone, that only just came out a little while ago! I'm stoked to read it! But I know I'll appreciate it much more once I re-read this first one. Plus, I can't miss a chance to re-read it. It's a very precious book. 

    Books are pretty amazing, and I mean books that are very good. I think the best books capture true human nature, in any variety of ways, without disgusting sensationalism that destroys the dignity of humanity insofar as the characters represent humanity.  I don't understand the overtly crude or explicit...it detracts ultimately, especially in this day and age? In the movie Damsels in Distress which might just be the best satire college flick ever, they point out that there's no subtlety anymore. This is so true! When it's so lost, I think we are desensitized, which leads to more, grosser sensationalism and it's a circle. Subtlety is good and needed, I think, especially for the delicate matters. Plus, it has a credit for treating the readers as if they're actually smart and not just part of a mindless mass. In honesty, I prefer some censorship, because in the past it really has provoked more profound and through works of art. People can't do whatever they please, so we have to actually think and come up with a subtle, smart, less direct way of asserting the ideas. I think it's so interesting, and it's all part of why I love reading good books and (hopefully) writing them! I've been reading and writing a fair amount over the past week, so I guess I just have books on the mind! 

     Oh, a few days ago I made moon cakes, all by myself! I am not very good with dough...they turned out looking more like rocks. But they still tasted really good, and I'll definitely be making more (though with help.) 

      And I'll definitely be horse-back riding again soon! I just can't wait, I really can't wait. I hope I can finally be able to ride one of the best, favorite horses in the place...I've always wanted to ride him so much, even if he's a bit tall for me. I'm short, so I really prefer shorter horses. I know loads of people who are short still like really tall horses, but I can't understand that! I guess I'm a wuss about it...but I don't care! I love horses!

      Now for the picture!

     This one is based off of a flowery, slightly fruity and sugary scent called Be Enchanted and I just knew....I just knew it would have to be very girly! Though the girl herself looks just a little creepy in this one. But I still love her hair! 

     

     I did this last night while chatting with one of my friends on the phone. I love talking on the phone, which is funny because I used to hate it! But seriously, there's something that's way more fun and personal about talking on the phone compared to chatting or texting. I just really prefer it. Plus in this case, it was a great source of fun inspiration! I don't think this would have turned out the same way if I wasn't talking with her. It was great! 

    ...And I really want the girl's shirt! 

    Here's hoping that the weather will take a turn for the cooler soon! Though it's not looking very favorable until next week...but I don't care! As long as we get some autumn!